Are ahead

I feel it
and I like it
so much
that I'm getting addicted to having a smile on my face.

Love is grand
Life is beautiful

It all fits perfectly

I wanted to write

a new journal entry. But as I sit here, my thoughts become blurred and I am left with blank words.

I've been trying to get through this day as if it's just like any other day. I'm living in a world of denial today. Possibly for me to keep myself sane?? Or because I'm hiding from what really is there? Maybe both but either or, I dont know what else to do. I was lonely last night, when I didn't want to be more than anything. It is my bed, so I am lying in it. But the hurt is still intense none the less and my heart is so heavy it's pulling my chest to the ground.

I feel a sickness over me. My stomach is in knots and the sun is only blinding me rather than keeping me warm.

I've crushed myself
now I stand over all the little pieces
that I created
and cry

And what is it?

Hell if I know.

I have been thinking so much lately about where I am, what I'm doing and how can I get to the goal I've been wanting.

In my head, I have the strength and motivation and yet, when the DOING comes around I hit that wall.

So many things I want and yet, dont do....I feel I'm wasting this time that I have.

Vague journal entry.....I know, I'm just letting out thoughts

I am going to read The Alchemist again....after reading it the first, oh, 3 times, it always helps to remind me to keeping going....even when your plans get side tracked, you have to keep going.

I hope all is well with everyone here!!

who's seen jezebel?
she was born to be the woman i would know
and hold like the breeze
half as tight as both our eyes closed

I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you again

I miss her
so
much